Mae

Though I'm extremely talented at talking about myself and my life, I've never been particularly good at writing "about me sections." So, bare with me.

I'm a senior in college--hopefully graduating in four months. My parents were highschool sweethearts, they married when they graduated. All my life, I assumed that I, too, would be married when I was twenty-one. By the time I turned twenty, I figured out that I would not be getting married within the next two years. I have never had a long-term, serious relationship. Neither, did I ever the stereotypical, highschool sweetheart type relationship. I have, however, had pretty much every other bizarre manifestation of relationship an individual could enjoy (or, not enjoy). My freshman year I was involved with two different men, one first semester and one second. (We'll ignore high school and random hook ups for the first couple of years at least) Both of these individuals were people I thought had long-term potential, we're talking marriage material. Especially the second--we will call him Shuey. Shuey was perfect for me on paper, same religion, same socio-economic background, same ethnic group, same goals. We were just too young. With both of them, we met, dated very soon upon meeting, technically ended dating within a few weeks, and then proceeded to do the "we're-best-friends-who-are-basically-dating-but-not-technically-thing" for months. Eventually, and predictably, these so called friendships imploded, especially with Shuey--though, that one lasted about a year. After that I casually dated people, and hooked up with a lot of other people until my junior year. After taking about a one year hiatus from the dating scene, I went through a period where I hooked up with everyone and there brother. After that I met this guy, we'll call him Larry. Larry and I met in the most typical, 'eyes meet across the room, lust at first sight, sweep you off your feet' meeting at a local pool hall. He proceeded to sweep me off my feet and romance the hell out of me. About a week later things predictably fell apart (to be fair, I was also leaving for Africa in about two weeks for the summer, which freaked him out, and he was quite a deal later). I went off to Africa, and though I was involved with people there, I couldn't get Larry out of my head. When I returned, Larry and I started dating again within a couple weeks. Since then we've been very off and on, more of a glorified fuck buddies if you will. The relationship has interesting transformed from me caring about him and he using me for sex, to him caring for me and me using him for sex. I tell myself its ok because he was such an asshole in the past. The only other male of interest since then was this guy we'll call Zebulan, who was weird. We dated, (this was during an off period with Larry)immediately became really serious, talking about the future and all, spending every moment together, we were perfect....until, he decided to break up with me by disappearing for four days and than deleting pictures of us off of facebook. When I asked him what the hell was going on via instant messenger (he wouldn't answer my calls)he informed me that his interest had waned. The next day he showed up at MY coffee shop (we met there, I live there--and he knows that ) with a date. While I remain on relatively decent terms with all my exes--we acknowledge each other when necessary, I feel that Zebulan's behavior when we broke up effectively undermined the need for me to be classy. I haven't spoken to him since we broke up. We don't like Zebulan. Zebulan is an asshole.

That was a lot longer than I had intended--sorry about that. Anyways, my dating style is two-fold. If I'm genuinely interested in forming a relationship with someone, I play it kind of backed off and let them seek me out--at least until I effectively have them under my spell. i.e., in this context I fairly fiercely ascribe to "He's Just Not That Into You." In my experience at least, relationships-good relationships, should not be hard. If he wants to be with you, if he cares about you ---he'll be dancing on rooftops shouting your name to the moon. You'll never have to call him first--because he'll be contacting you whenever possible (mind...there's a thin line between charmingly obsessed and creepily obsessed). However, in my experience at least, you truly have to let them chase you until you turn around and catch them. Admittedly waiting is a bitch, I'm not particularly patient so I spend a fair amount of time staring at my cell being annoyed. Entrapment is the name of the game. If a man really wants you, he'll sit through awful ballet's, be friends with your friends (even if he hates them,) buy you flowers to show he cares, text you good morning, etc not because you want him to, but because he wants to just so he can be with you--a subtle distinction that's important to understand. On the other hand, if I'm involved with a guy because I'm bored, or I just want sex--all bets are off. I am the queen of being the aggressor, pointing to a guy at a bar and taking him home, and contacting my fuck buddies for booty-calls (and not being subtle about it). What's the point of being subtle and working hard if we all just want the same thing? I've found texting a man "sex?" is a very effective tactic. I don't really bother with veiling my intention when I merely am using a man as a sex object--and it annoys me when they pretend its something more than it is. I'm a fan of bluntness. It also should be noted that I'm much better at the "glorified fuck-buddy" (as I like to call it) than the relationship game. That's probably because I'm a lot more focused on other aspects of my life--career, future planning, etc. I just don't think those aspects are as fun to giggle about.

Sorry, this ran a bit longer than intended--hopefully you have some insight into what I'm about now.

Best!
Mae