How to be Effectively Slutty

How to be effectively slutty.
My inspiration for this post comes from my friend, we'll call her Emily. Now Emily is an amazing girl. She's absolutely beautiful (ballet dancer, so great body, long hair, pretty face,) she's also, and more importantly, brilliant, cultured, caring, and a bit of a housewife. (I am a horrid cook, so I tend to collect friends that cook for me.) But Emily has a problem--one I've heard many women face. She doesn't like to initiate intimacy, and she has trouble getting men to "make the move." Now, admittedly, intimacy happens at different times for different people in different types of relationships. Emily isn't serious with anyone, but she has a couple of guys she's 'been involved with.' However, she often has difficulties getting them into the sack. I hate to be egotistical, but I am a natural when it comes to initiating intimacy in an un-awkward fashion. If I can get them through my door--I'm golden. I'm often surprised when my friends discuss their difficulties in this area, I thought it might be useful to list some general tips:

1.)I have hooked up with many a friend. As a rule of thumb, I always make them make the first mood. This way, if things go badly, I can blame them. The name of the game is entrappment.

2.) Not that I haven't done it, but making out at a bar is just skanky. I try to avoid it. Frankly, throwing yourself at a man at a bar is also just nasty. If you want a quality guy...you have to let him come to you. Have you ever heard the saying "he chased her until she turned around and caught him" ? Now, I'm all for one night stands, and I've picked up many a guy at a bar. But, barring a few unfortunate incidents, you never see me going at it in public. The key to being effectively slutty, is that you don't let anyone realize that you're a bit of a whore at times--that should be kept personal.

3.) Very rarely does a guy come over and you immediately start having sex (or whatever). Usually, there needs to be some sort of excuse for why you're "hanging out." i.e. movie, glass of wine, smoking a hookah. Personally, I prefer to be blunt with regular fuck buddies, and merely tell them that we will be having sex now. However, I've heard I'm in the minority. Whatever your excuse, make it reasonable that both parties can pretend to be legitimately interested in partaking in the event, but not so enjoyable of an activity that you become more interested in it than the potential sexual encounter. I've made this mistake before. In other words, pick a bad movie, or one you've seen several times. Also, always be prepared to suddenly stop whatever you're in the middle of doing. I once found myself in a very awkward position: a guy came over supposedly to smoke hookah, I at least knew that we were going to be having sex (men are sometimes dense about it---in case you're curious, if he comes over, at night, and isn't already a close friend, he wants to have sex. it's that simple. However, sometimes when it comes to doing it, they need gentle nudges.) anyways, he finally made a move on me when i was holding my hookah filled with tobacco---i had to awkwardly get it out of my hands without breaking anything while simultaneously taking advantage of the moment---never stop the moment once it happens. it makes things worse.

4.) If you're having trouble getting things started, playful physical contact is very effective. For example, when he teases you, gently pout and lean your head against his shoulder. Or if you're watching a movie and something scary happens, bury your head in his arm (I mean, let's be serious--we're not actually afraid.) Another key move of mine is the leg touch. When you're talking, or making a point, gently put your hand on his inner thigh---but kinda near the top so its not to skanky. I prefer to make that mood just for a second for added emphasis. It's a very powerful tool, use wisely. I have never used it and not, immediatly thereafter, gotten laid.

5.) Smile a lot and look at their mouth. They think its a sub-conscious attraction. I don't believe in the sub-conscious. I always act with forethought. (well, at least when I'm sober.)

6.) Body positioning is key. You want to put yourself in the position where you can't help but be close to them physically without being obvious I have this great balcony that can barely fit two people. I'll tell them to step out and enjoy the view--they'll have no choice to be in close physical proximity. That's when they become super aware of your body and there's. Sold. I'm also a fan of utilizing futons or couches. I have a couch that fit's two comfortably, three tightly. I'm always careful when I have a guy over to sit towards the middle, so they have no choice but to be close to you--it takes care of the awkward distance when he wants to make a move thing. But don't do it really obviously, its about finesse.

7.) Try not to mock their attempts at making a move on you. They can be quite pathetic at time. It seems that whenever guys are in sexual situations they revert to highschool fallbacks. for example, I once had a guy over for a movie. He literally inched his hand over, a centimeter at a time so he was holding mine---like he thought I wouldn't notice what I was doing and we would magically end up holding hands. It was quite pathetic. I wasn't particularly eager with this guy to hook up either, else I would have helped him along a bit. I found it much more amusing to watch him struggle. I can be a bit cruel at times--- I shouldn't play with my food.

8.) Eye contact is key. There is a moment, right before a man kisses you where he looks at you for a second, usually quite awkwardly. Things get very quiet. I, and I suspect many others, always want to look away---because its awkward sitting next to someone and staring at them in silence. BUT DO NOT LOOK AWAY. Hold the eye contact, until he leans in and goes for the kiss. I have this look my friends call the lemur eye. It's quite effective. When things are about to start I make my eyes big (they're already quite large) and gaze up at him adoringly. slam dunk, every time.

9.) While I'm not suggesting anybody do something they're not comfortable with, I find sobriety is entirely overrated in this kind of situation. A little liquid courage always helps. Or more illicit substances. In case you're wondering, if a guy every invites you over for a drink or to smoke, he wants to have sex. Don't doubt me for a minute here.

10.) If for some reason the guy you're with is particularly dense, and you find yourself in the position that you have to make the move, go and go big. The couple of times I've been their, I favor grabbing them by their shirt collar when they least expect it and kissing them. They're so taken by surprise that next thing you know we're making out and my clothes are coming off. They totally forget to be shy.

11.) To be honest, I'm not a huge communicator--hence why serious relationships aren't my thing. I also seem to attract men that want to talk about "us" at the most inconvenient times--like during intercourse. But, I've also heard that I'm a bit of a minority as far as women go in this area. So, just fyi. If you are having a random hookup with a guy, and you're enjoying it, do not, under any circumstances, start asking him "where do we stand." First of all, I feel those kind of conversations should be initiated by men, but that may just be my old school tendencies talking. Second, no bigger mood killer than "what is this." To be honest, I tend to be a bit of a man in relationships---but I swear, if I had a cock (and it would be a big one) the minute somebody said "what is this" while we were hooking up, it would go flacid.

So, to all of you potential whores out there: good luck, and go get dirty!

Mae